A letter...

...from a sweet sister who just began the Adventure


[created 3/18/97]
She filled out the survey...

Who was Jesus?

Son of Man, Son of God. All-powerful King of Kings, personal Lord and Savior. The way, the truth, the life, the last Adam, the true vine, the Prince of Peace, the Judge of Souls, etc.

Basically, I thank Him, praise Him, and get to know Him more every day!!!


What evidence do you use to support your position?

There is the Bible, a historical account of the Divine (out of this world) prophecies, miracles, teachings, righteousness and sinlessness of the God/man. There is the personal testimony of millions of humans through the generations of experience with the Holy Spirit and its transformative power. I accept all of this as accurate because I believe of the concept of infinity and the ideal of perfection which exist in my mind. I am conscious of my own spiritual nature which is presently fused with a physical, material body to give me life. But I also know that my spirit and life is something altogether different and transcendent of the material world. I know that it is a type of energy which has been parceled out into an individual soul but which has as its source and final destination the whole, connected Spirit and Life. I find it compelling that descriptions of the qualities and resurrection of Jesus are more or less identical from person to person even though each person has his/her own mission, calling, burden, etc. Unity in diversity is a difficult concept, and I find that the three-person God and the Body of Christ make sense of it

I confess that my faith is sometimes unstable. I accepted the reality of the deity and resurrection of Christ only seven months ago (Praise God!), and so I've just begun the journey of my lifetime. The initial joy and power I felt as a result of being touched by the grace of God has given way to an uncertainty about God's will for my life, and a certain disgust for the blindness of humanity. I guess all I'm saying is that I wish I could more strongly feel the Lord's presence. I occasionally catch myself second-guessing what exactly happened to me at my conversion experience, but then I always remember some reason why the invisible divinity really exists. However, the pattern later repeats itself apparently without warning. It's like a recording in my head that asks, "How could you be so deceived? Do you really believe that? Isn't it just a nice story which sucks you in at a moment of weakness to give you a deluded sense of comfort and superiority?" I know there is something God wants me to learn from these doubts (probably having to do with humility), and I trust that the wisdom will be supplied in good time.

Sorry for the long-winded descriptions, but this is a process of thinking out loud which is helpful to the current stage of my faith journey. Before I was converted, my biggest problem was believing that Jesus was the son of God. I thought he was no more son of God than I. I thought he was an excellent teacher who made false claims about his divinity in order to start a new movement to overthrow and destroy the Roman Empire. So, I thought it was an intentional farce perpetrated by a small group of creative but discontent intellectuals. Further, I thought that all contemporary Christians knew this, and they were continuing the force in order to limit my freedom and impose order and objective morality on society. I didn't know that I was simply rebelling against the development of my own conscience (superego). I thought that I good live a good, virtuous life without accepting Christ--I overestimated my personal power. Another major problem I had was the belief that God had either removed Himself from Creation or was some way in the past tense. It wasn't until I heard Him whisper on the other side of the door to my heart, "I AM here, I have always been here" that I could open the channel to His grace and love and become a part of the resurrected body of Christ. Thank you for allowing me the chance to share this with you, glorifying the work of God and reliving His saving grace at the same time.


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I cannot remember it, but let me comment that I really, really appreciate your sharing your thought-life with me below...I am a seriously external thinker also...and I learn SO MUCH from others as I 'see' them work through issues as well...

I hope you are working through the inevitable challenges that come in the life of following the Lord...some intellectual doubts seem petty, some horrid, some even comical...but they wax and wane over the years, esp as you start to experience more and more of the patterns of His interaction--as opposed to the 'spot' feelings of His presence...over time His OBVIOUS presence in the history and details of your life so completely dwarfs the epistemic/evidential value of inner feelings...and then the feelings change character into those 'numinous' things ;>)...radical sense of His awesomeness in the middle of a worship song, a 5 second 'pulse' of insight into how UTTERLY He accepts you, a 2 minute weeping session when it finally dawns on you that HE SOUGHT YOU OUT, to make you His child! This will not be 'evidential' anymore--you will be way beyond that--but they will flesh out the outline of Awesome God of Glory and Grace!...

Anyway, I hope this finds you learning and growing and getting up when you fall...let me know how it's going...

Thanks again for visiting the Tank, and for sharing with me,
warmly,
your brother forever and ever,
glenn
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