Over the years, I have often ‘complained’ and in some cases tried to ‘distance myself’ from the behavior of the Constantine-period church. Many modern Christians, of course, take exception with some of the theology and argumentation of the Fathers—as I do—but I gained a new respect for the difficulty of their situation this past week or two. As I probed into the issues of compromise, syncretism, and some of the allegations of less-than-Christian praxis, I began to appreciate, for the first time, the difficult decisions the Constantine church had to make. I read portions of the sermons by the leadership of the day—deploring the actions seemingly forced on them by the massive influx of ‘suddenly-Christian’ people. I saw that the battle against persecution was simply exchanged for a battle against dilution, and where the bishops before had complained about heresy, they now had to deal instead with hypocrisy. The enthusiasm of the young church—evidenced in its martyrs and selfless acts of large-scale compassion and social relief work—was now mixed in with ‘concerns with career mobility’—those who noted the Emperor’s conversion…

For the first time, I think, I saw more of the heart of those believers, and I actually apologized to our Lord for how I had perhaps slandered or denigrated or ‘dismissed’ them so easily in the past. I grew instead to love them—for I shall yet see them—and see them as trophies of grace and marvels of beauty, in such times as those. I still see various theological points of theirs as ‘retrograde’ (relative to the New Testament—as I understand it, of course…smile), but I doubt that I could have done any better or even as good as they—given the times, education, and circumstances of the day.

The miracle of their consistently non-syncretistic life and efforts blows me away today. The forces on them to compromise, to syncretize, to ‘assimilate’ to the pagan theological/worldview ‘Borg’ were staggering. And yet—the historians of the period tell us—they stayed ‘different’. They maintained the exclusivist stance—without being an introverted group. They reached out to help others—enemies even, based on the teachings of their Lord—but did so without compromising on the powerful, liberating truth that prompted them toward “love and good works.” Everything was against them—the money, the government, the elite, the intellectuals, their Jewish root-stock, and even the common-folk often gave so little ‘passion’ and ‘examination’ to the matters of worldview and religion. The gods were often things to avoid, unless ‘something came up’, and even the religious rituals by the masses were more social than spiritual, like it is sometimes today in the Western (non-persecuted) church.

Persecution seems to have kept the faith pure in the early days, and in modern times, in non-Western areas. When there is nothing material or ‘cultural’ to be gained by becoming a follower of Jesus—except perhaps a bullet or a bombing or a rite of excision or social ostracizing—then only those who know Him, and have ‘tasted’ of His love, acceptance, forgiveness, presence, and comfort in their life ‘sign up’ and proclaim themselves to be His before a watching world (often watching through the sights of guns…).

The historians of thought may remember these early Christian writers as clumsy or crude or even reactionary, but the historians of Roman culture remember them as a force for social good, a surprising source of meeting deep personal and social needs, and as the victors in a battle of impossible odds—against the culture of the Roman empire…

Would that history might remember my puny efforts as beautifully as that…that in two thousand years some historian of ‘Ancient Christian Apologetics, in the Early Web years’ would have a footnote on the Tank, saying something like “One of the earlier and most primitive websites in this area, appearing in 1994, was also one of the most confused and poorly organized web sites of the day. It’s arguments were torturously verbose and often amazingly convoluted, and it seemed to manifest an obsession with detail and ancient documentation—perhaps symptomatic of an OCD of its author. However, the fact that it took people’s questions seriously, and manifested a tone of love, warmth, gentleness, and acceptance to even the most inflammatory questions from visitors, generated a constant stream of questions and even  some compliments, and with this tone and effort (the author was apparently always complaining about having to do this in his ‘spare time’ [an ancient concept poorly understood today by scholars], demonstrated some degree of conformity to the central message of Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” and Paul’s injunction to ‘do good to all men’.”

So now I won't complain about them (as much…smile), and will instead thank God for the groundwork of love they laid for us, and the example of faithful compassion they manifested to those who ‘pursed them to death’…and I will read them a little more humbly—especially the stories of their lives…and I will aspire to a love that changes MY world too…
 

Now, at a practical level, there really isn’t a problem with this. And perhaps it’s more a bit of selfishness than of calling. I would rather think/write tankstuff than breathe or sleep, but maybe it's not good for me to do it 7x24 like I am currently deliriously doing (intoxicated smile). But I have used this argument as a heart-protecting ‘rationalization’ over the past two years—to avoid the more obvious ‘not ready for primetime’ explanation—and it’s beginning to wear thin. But the tank so far has all been done in this part-time mode (and actually I have had more free time for it in the last year than ever before), and God has blessed the results in both my life and in the lives of others, so why am I complaining? So, I hope to stop “complaining” any day now…carpe man(y)ana…

So, I’ll go back to work (I presume) in a couple of weeks or so, and since an old friend of twenty years has graced me with a gift of an entire month’s expenses today(!), I will try to pound out as much tankstuff as I can over these last 2-3 weeks of freedom and focus.