I am afraid my Occult background has led me into the Unpardonable sin?
Date: April 12/2004
I got this prayer request:
please pray for me ...
....I am being held captive and hostage by an evil spirit. It tortures me day and night. I want to believe that God forgives me but I keep thinking I have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit(the monster tells me this)... my sins were spiritual and horrible...finally culminating in the use and obsession with a device similar to a Ouija Board. I believe in Jesus and the Bible and am truly repentant of all my sins. I am real close to committing suicide. I do not feel forgiven and the evil will not go from me no matter what I do. I've been seeking God with all my heart and am so very confused about different denominations and doctrines and cannot take another minister to try and force me to perjure myself about what is happening to me...as if what is happening isn't happening. So please pray for me. I just hope that it isn't too late for me.
I might have been saved once at age 14, but am not sure because I never understood about a relationship with Christ. Then I stopped believing and became heavily involved in sorcery and the occult, until this evil attacked me and stopped me dead in my tracks. I love God with all my heart now that I believe. Will God forgive me and take me back or is it too late???? I do not want to kill myself, but if God doesn't love me or want me-I cannot go on living like this anymore...I am too tortured to keep enduring this without hope.
I replied with this email:
“Thanks for your honest, though agonized, letter, dear soul...
a couple of quick things:
1. I will certainly pray for you for the next month, as you try to sort through this, and as you come to understand how MASSIVE and ACCEPTING the warm-heart of God is toward YOU (and me, too--smile)!!!!
2. Be SURE TO READ what I wrote about the Unpardonable sin (I personally do not believe it exists today): http://www.christian-thinktank.com/nopardon.html
3. Then, read what I wrote to another person with a similar problem, and try to follow its advice: http://www.christian-thinktank.com/nonapolx1.html#three
4. Then read Psalms 19 through 30 straight through (without arguing with the text, or trying to solve all the "problems" in the text) 4 TIMES in a row, without stopping.
5. Then, read the piece on "Second Chances with God" at http://www.christian-thinktank.com/2ndchances.html
6. Finally, have hope! Many, many people come to learn and experience the non-petty love of God from occult backgrounds. the first recorded ones in the bible come from the Book of Acts, friend:
Acts 19:18ff: "Many also of those who had believed kept coming, confessing and disclosing their practices. And many of those who practiced magic brought their books together and began burning them in the sight of all; and they counted up the price of them and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So the word of the Lord was growing mightily and prevailing."
One commentator explained that these were probably Christians, and had been SERIOUS practitioners of sorcery: "Many Christians had also been involved in sorcery and spiritism and they openly confessed their evil deeds. The noun translated “deeds” is praxeis, which probably describes magical spells and formulas. Giving out these secrets would cause them to lose their power... (19:19). Furthermore, many publicly burned their manuals of sorcery. In sorcery, people by the assistance of demons sought to gain power over others. The word translated drachmas is actually argyriou and simply means “silver”; consequently the value of the coins is unknown. But 50,000 silver coins was a large sum. (19:20). The cleansed church became a powerful and growing church. [Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. (1983-c1985). The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures. Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.]
So, be a little encouraged friend--God's love swirls all around you in delight for your heart. He sees your innermost heart, and your longing to dance in freedom, and He is a helper of the weak (like me!)...the evil spirit will not be able to maintain its hold over you for very long, if you focus on growing your inside heart (as per the paths described above). And you will notice that it will weaken over the next few weeks and months, as the Holy Spirit's love-glow and peace begins to slowly infiltrate your experience!
Once you've had a chance to work through some of the above, EMAIL ME and let me know how its going and what kinds of challenges you might still be facing. Be sure to let me know in a couple of weeks how you are (I'll be praying for you all through March).
Welcome to His love and acceptance!
The Christian ThinkTank...[http://www.Christian-thinktank.com] (Reference Abbreviations)