["another update letter... I cannot tell if I am getting closer or farther away sometimes..."]
I'm getting closer...smile...
First of all, my thanks to those of you who sent in encouragements--I received many, many sweet emails (and even some snail-mail cards) of encouragement from you--thanks, thanks, thanks!
Here is the update first, on the prayer items:
Request was: "I need clarity on what short-term actions to take to address/solve the short-term problem (e.g., seeking a loan, how to generate short-term consulting)"...Action: I semi-sought a short-term loan through a wonderful Tank supporter (my precious mom!) for a couple of months...she has been an encouragement (and business enthusiast for me!) ever since I began the Tank...I also put feelers out for short-term work, but have not gotten (nor actively sought) any work in this venue...Those were the requests and status--here are the details:
Request was: "I will need resolve and strength to stay the course for WHATEVER becomes clear IS the course. (And, if the course is not what I had hoped for, I will need strength to fight the 'hope deferred' sickness which would ensue.)"...Action: I have stayed on track with the plan/vision, and have been able to crank out a big chuck of a question on predation...It has been SO wonderful to be able to devote almost 50% of my awake-time to tank work in the last two weeks!
Request was: "I need honesty to see what the longer-term scenario might look like, to the extent it is available for 'seeing' yet"...Action: so far, so good...but I keep asking...
Request: "I need the ability to get some Tank work done, even under these circumstances. [Even doing short-term consulting will not fill up all the hours of the week, so there might be time available to try to make progress on some of the more important articles I am working on. This is very difficult to do, under situations of extreme stress, so I would ask for special focus, resolve, and clarity of heart to make these context switches without getting sick all the time.]"...Action: thanks! I was able to pull together the first (difficult) section on the Predation piece over the last few weeks--without compromising business commitments, relationship commitments, and personal health/sanity!
Request: "That He would be honored in my eyes, in the eyes of my children, and in the eyes of all those who see this, through these events and through how this works out." ...Action: I don't know about anybody else, but I have felt like He has been moving me along, with His great "outstretched arm" in my own private Exodus...He knows how much His encouragement and facilitation of business output has meant to me...My precious God knows...
1. Small quantities of units did start selling about two weeks ago;
2. I am able to pay basic bills, under the loan arrangement.
3. I did contract some advertising for the site, in the Buyer's Guide of www.cio.com [just went on line July 1]
4. I will be producing some joint tapes with one of the leading CIO figures in the US (in a joint business), and he will be promoting my tapes as he travels/speaks.
5. the magazine review is still scheduled for Aug 1 (along with my first column article for the mag)
6. I have two other business deals cooking, that could net some short term income.
So, I am encouraged and waiting, and not wasting the waiting time!
And now for something completely different...
One of the most talented 'creatives' I have known in my life recently committed his life to the Lord...when I worked with him years ago, I am not sure I would have predicted that (embarrassed smile), but I am sure that he would not have either (victorious smile)...He sent me an email (which I have not answered, surprise, surprise...), pointing me to a precious song he made [New Light]--it is clear, and to the point, and honors the Lover so...what stories God makes of our lives, eh? He crafts songs from our paths, and celebrations from our tiny moral choices for good...the angels throw a party, when we choose His Son over the emptiness of the alternatives!
One of my favorite passages in the Message is Psalm 84:
"And how blessed all those in whom You live/ whose lives become roads You travel"My girlfriend read this to me one night, and I cannot get this out of my mind...It recalls for me John 14:23, in which Jesus tells his followers that if they love Him, He and the Father will basically make Their home in that person's life! I have pondered for years the idea of God making His "home" in my life...Being ever present, being comfortable, being available, being on 'the inside' with the Holy One...And the image of God traveling down the path of my life is so powerful to me, for some reason...His presence in the details, in the defeats, in the decisive wins and joys...He has always been there for me, through theodicy-making times (smile), through moments of intense and quiet awareness of that invisible smile...Our lives have interwoven over the decades, and I cannot imagine a life without Him now...my constant friend, my confidant, my safe harbor, my shepherd, my Sovereign and Majestic "boo-boo kisser"...'the lover of my soul'...
There are many changes occurring in my life, as I try to peer into what the "daily" future looks like for me...much excitement, I must confess, when I allow myself to feel it (cynicism runs deep in these veins), but at the bottom of every Journal page in my life, is still the same: "You are GOD, in all that that word should mean"...
Thanks again for your many encouragements, and for your continued prayers...I have a little work to do shortly, but then ("Lord willing", he hastily added with a quick deferential and submissive glance over to James 4) I can plow into the Tankwerke!