Will I ever learn?
Will I ever learn to trust my God fully?
Over twenty-five years ago, my first pastor told me that God was not ashamed of any verse in His bible.
But over the years, I have been. I have doubted verses, and wrestled with verses, and been downright embarrassed over certain verses. But as I have shared in these letters before, as I have faced up to them, and trusted my God 'for them', and labored to 'hear them,' I have been shocked to discover (to my shame) that the verses I doubted turned out to be correct, or beautiful, or insightful...
And this discovery--that God is right--I made again tonight. Tonight I studied a passage that has bothered me for 25+ years--Christ's encounter with the Syrophonecian Woman. I have so "avoided" it in my heart, for the image of Christ that I saw in it was SO unworthy of the One who has cared for me all these years. And when I opened up in faith and courage, and dug in with honesty and openness--out stepped an incredibly beautiful, tender, masterful, and wise Lord--surprise, surprise!!
I am both delighted, encouraged, --and embarrassed at my lack of faith, at my not giving God the 'benefit of the doubt'--when He has always seemed to answer most of the others...
Maybe someday I will learn to trust Him...my God, in all He knows that word to mean.
Somewhat chastened, but filled with excitement,
Glenn Miller, 10/23/96