From Britt's friends...Remembrances of Britt

April 19, 2000

To Glenn, Hannah, Derek:

First, this has been such a strange time for me, as I have been tossed between a servant-assignment and a hurting uncle. When you reflect on this time in the future, however, recall this--our commitment to each other does not fade with the bath of sorrow--it is watered so that it grows.

Britt was special to me, because we were both "middle" children. I delighted in her life, and was always amazed at her vibrance.

My love is stronger and deeper than ever, for I know I owe you so much.

In closing, I remind myself of the last page of the little photo album Britt gave Glenn, and the hand-written postscript..."to be continued..."

Until that day,
Bill Miller (Britt's uncle)

I remember Britt wrapping Cocoa (her cat) in a blanket and putting him in a basket and carrying him all over the house. He never allowed any other child to do this!

She always loved to help me plant flowers. And would always tell me what she had planted in the mountains.

It was always, "Aunt Cathy, tell me a story about when Mother was little."

I can see her now--floating in the swimming pool on the phone with her mother, "Mom, it's just like being in the jungle--flowers everywhere"...[Cathy, Britt's aunt]

Britt and I once visited a cemetary on a hill in Gilroy. It was a warm and clear day, so we talked and cried for the people. Wondered about their lives, and who they were. We were in awe of the entire day. Just overwhelmed. We left that day smiling....God speed, Britt Erin Miller

Britt I loved for so many reasons. She was such a kind, gentle, compassionate child of God. She was my angel when I needed one.

She was so important to be in our lives. In her presence I wanted to be better, speak quieter and more gently. She was so fragile, I wanted to protect her. Not being there for Britt was not possible. If she ever needed me, I tried. My life was made better for her being in it.

After meeting Cindy, Bill, Chris, and Glenn I now realize why she was so special.

You have all enriched our lives.

Go gently with God.

I remember Britt as having the biggest smile, the brightest eyes and the most warm laugh of anyone I have ever known. I remember when Heather and her were friends and we all used to play together, always just being as silly as we could and laughing. I think whenever I think about Britt, I will think of laughter...

I also remember how much she loved Hannah and how 'cool' she thought Hannah was...always a very faithful and adoring little sister. Even though Britt was more Heather's friend, she was part of our family...I remember us being there for her through the divorce and numerous other events in her life. Even though our family lost touch with her, I always thought about her and wondered how she was doing and what her life was like...I think beyond anything, Britt's death reminds us all how we should express our love to everyone daily. Britt was a wonderful, caring, warm and funny woman.

Britt and I would talk for hours about everything from metaphysics to socio-economic phenomena to the qualifications of being a redneck. Her stories of her baby sister and superdad not only brought an almost cheesy heart-warmed smile to my face, but also provided a brief understanding of a family that could bless this world with such a wonderful loving person.

One night while Britt, myself, and another friend were driving through the hidden backroads of Cupertino, she revealed her fear of driving uphill. Britt is constantly unique. We spent the next hour or so climbing the jungle gyms at random grammar schools. Britt and I found ourselves hanging upside down looking "up" at the sand and "down" at the stars in the sky.

Britt, take our love with you to the next place.

And next time we meet, I'll bring that Jumbo Jack with cheese I owe you.

Mark always says that meeting Britt is like a car crash. She was the most beautiful person I knew--inside and out. She loved the people around her, and I think she knew that the biggest and best part of being young and having fun and getting lost in the world was the people around--those friends and joyful moments that make our lives so wonderful. She always made the moment more wonderful. She would be glad to know that she has left upon our circle of friends a beautiful sense of appreciation--cut away the garbage--and let us enjoy the love we have together as much as she enjoyed it from the world she knew. I will not mourn her absence, but celebrate my life--this is my lesson from her.

I cherish Britt in my heart and memories. We shared many times together, long conversations on every subject imaginable. She had a love for life and knowledge that was marvelous, a beautiful smile, hypnotic laugh and we shared much about each other. She was my best friend for three years and although I wish it might have lasted longer I am grateful that I knew her and I will hold her in my heart...always.

I will miss her intelligent mind!
I will miss her laugh!
I will miss her smile!

But, I will remember them and love them and I will tell any and everyone what a magnificent person she will always be.

There was one night when Britt and I were just driving around listening to the radio. She loved driving around in my Camaro. She always wanted to drive it, but I knew how bad of a driver she was, so I just smiled and said, "Maybe some other time." As we were listening to my CD's, a song came on and both of us started to cry. The title of the song was "Breathe" by Faith Hill. Britt then turned to me and it was then understood that this was to be "our" song.

There was another night in which it was ever so slightly raining. We had just finished watching a movie and stuffing ourselves with cheese pizza. She walked me down to my car to say good night and make plans to get together the next day. As I was warming up my car, we stood there listening to my CD's when for no reason we just started dancing...Giving no care to the passing cars that were laughing at us. She then turned to me and said, "Bridget, you are my blue-eyed Amazon Goddess." She loved to call me that. I have so many memories of Britt. They are all sweet, and I could never choose one over the others.

I met Britt through my brother Tom. I immediately saw something very special in Britt, something that very few people possess. The more time I spent with Britt the more I envied her optimism and joy she had for life. After I had come to know her better I decided to ask her if she would be lead actress for a small film I was shooting and she agreed. The time I spent with her while shooting the film solidified her, in my eyes, as a very rare and special person. The film reflected her charisma and power she possessed. I thank her for participating in my film, but most importantly, I thank her for being my friend.

Britt's presence in my house, her bird-like voice, her smile, and her easy step always gave me the feeling that there was an angel among us.

Few people have affected my life like Britt Miller did. I still remember clearly the first day I saw her walking into Palo Alto Prep. She was always kind to me. I was overwhelmed with her spirit and talent. She could always make me laugh. I would start conversations with her just to hear her talk. She was always able to speak so eloquently and had such a passion for her beliefs. She was a light on this world. She walked among us not even knowing her divine influence. She had a power. She was beautiful, intelligent, funny, down to earth, and impossible not to love. After graduation I saw her only occasionally. Though we only met every so often, it always seemed we picked up directly where we left off. We would talk about what was making us happy, complain about what was currently plaguing us. We'd smoke cigarettes and philosophize. I'd listen while she used words I had never heard before. I would smile and pretend I understood. In life I saw a light in her. That is an understatement--her light was blinding! I jut wanted to stand near her and bask in her glow. Even when we were far, far apart and I had not spoken with her in months, her words and thoughts would come to me and I would smile.

She filled my heart like no one ever has or will.

The world should weep for their loss and should be thankful to have been graced by such a light.

All I can say is...Thank you, for her smiles, her hugs, her laughter...Thank you.

I don't know Britt very well, but I just found out this morning and because of what I do know of her, I've been really affected. About two years ago, we went to Denny's to go eat. Some guys were just flat our staring at her. I told her about it and she got mad. She said that she wished she wasn't so beautiful because that is all that people see. They never get any deeper. Well, to me, it wasn't true. The first thing I noticed about her was how kind she was and how comfortable she made me feel. I think this is the reason I was so upset this morning. She has so much inner beauty. In fact, she is an inspiration to me. I've always admired her and all that she offered to others. I've only had a few times to really enjoy her presence, but I've seen it in my friend's lives. I know that she has touched the lives of the people she has encountered. She has definitely touched mine. I know from her courage, integrity, kindness and beauty--not the beauty that is skin deep, but the beauty that radiates from the spirit of a person.

I have not seen Britt since that night at Denny's and I will never again see her. This is what makes me so sorrowful now. I've often wondered about her. I've passed by her house and wondered how she was. I've though often about the things she's said and done because although I've only talked with her several times, what she's said will affect me the rest of my life. I miss her LIGHT and deeply wish that I could have been her good friend.

I'm Tom's brother Jon. I knew Britt from school, and was one of her friends. In school she drove me home almost every day. We all did a lot of things together. She used to make fun of me and I made fun of her back. We were total pals. After we were no longer in school together I still saw her often at social functions--parties and stuff. I'm sad and I miss her, but I think that total sadness will be felt at future parties and get-togethers--when there will be something missing. I've hung out with her since I've been 14 and I'm 20 now. I will miss her and pray for her every night.

Britt was one of the most special students I have ever had in my life. I remember how she used to smile when I said she looked like Renee Russo. I guess that's what I'll remember most: her heart-stopping smile.

Britt was always silver and lavender, effervescent, light, ethereal. When I think of her, I see and roll around in silver and lavender.

Britt was a shining star who brought peace and healing to my son. She took a place where a mother can't...What she meant to my family is unfathomable. Her loss will be lifelong pain. She was our angel.

I remember first meeting Britt when she was a rather intimidated second grader entering our classroom, her first day at school after moving from Louisiana. I don't know if it was the red bandana in her hair or the twinkle in her eye, but I wanted to be her friend immediately. I remember how bummed I was when the teacher picked Anne Reynolds to be her 'buddy' for the day and show her around the school, and not me. I made up for it by giving her a Hello Kitty pencil and an eraser--and got a shy smile in return. From that point on, we had at least 4 more years in elementary school together, and we were often joined at the hip. I remember so many secrets shared and silly jokes that we giggled over together. She bought me my first tape, ever--the Bangles--"Walk Like An Egyptian". Also whenever I hear Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire," INXS "Suicide Blonde" or Sinead O'Connor "Nothing Compares to You," I still think of her, because I remember dancing to them in her room, trying to imitate the cool way she'd dance to them. I remember playing softball w/her with Blue Hills Bobby Sox and how we hated it so much of the time. The coach would put us in the outfield and we'd sit out there and talk and pick flowers. So much for the pro leagues in our futures. I remember the "secret lands" we'd create maps for--dreamlands that we'd "go to" in these elaborate carriages when we'd go to sleep. I still have those maps. I remember how I'd rather be at Britt's house than anywhere else. I remember Cindy taking us for ice cream at Thrifty's, I remember Glenn telling us to stop giggling and go to sleep, I remember how much Britt admired Hannah as a big sister, even though we never understood why she thought Monty Python was funny. I remember Derek as the little 6 or 7 year old that Britt loved and would always defend, and for some reason, I remember Larry making us grilled cheese sandwiches.

Even though I lost contact with Britt as we grew up, I can honestly say that God gave her a very special place in my heart and thought. I never stopped loving her. I was looking forward to the day I thought would surely come when she'd call up and we could renew our friendship. As I see her picture now, she looks like the same little girl I shared so much of my childhood with, maybe with a little more makeup...sometimes weak and delicate, needing my love, often strong--convincing me to try new things, and always beautiful, inside and out. She was a special light in my life, and I thank God for her.

During the services Monday I never got the chance to write up some of my memories of Britt. There are many, most from her days in Los Angeles. But for all of Britt's individual brightness, what I remember most about her is how much she loves Hannah, and how much Hannah loves her.

On no later than my second date with Hannah, she started telling me all about Britt. It was very important, Hannah said, that I understand Britt if I hoped to understand Hannah at all. After meeting Britt, and watching the two of them together, I did understand. The spark between them, the eagerness they felt to be together was always very special. They'd lean close together. It hardly seems possible, but they'd actually both start talking even faster than normal. They brought out the youngest, happiest and most open parts of one another.

I hope all of you are remembering Britt with smiles.

The Christian ThinkTank...[] (Reference Abbreviations)